Wishes
by Bradcat
Summary: A look at the emotions and Wishes of some of the Tokyo Babylon and X characters. Each chapter can stand on its own.
1. Subaru

Love is a powerful emotion, as are hatred, lust and anger. To feel one of these is to be unbalanced, to feel them all is to be swept away.

To feel them all towards one person is more than anyone should have to bear.

Subaru is far beyond unbalanced. Subaru is probably beyond insane, at this point.

Subaru has loved Seishirou for years, and hated him almost as long. The one does not preclude the other. Subaru will never forgive Seishirou for what he has done to him, but he also realizes that the lack of forgiveness is meaningless. Seishirou doesn't care. Subaru has never stopped loving Seishirou, not even as Hokuto was dying. Seishirou doesn't care about that, either.

Subaru is defined by Seishirou's actions, existing only by the Sakurazukamori's will. He doesn't even know why he's still alive, and wouldn't be comforted to know that neither does Seishirou.

Subaru's Wish is a fluid, ever-changing thing; sometimes he Wishes to kill Seishirou, sometimes to be killed by him, frequently he only wants to be loved by him. Very occasionally, Subaru wishes to not love Seishirou, Wishes he had never met him.

Subaru's Wish is always the same:

Sakurazuka Seishirou.


	2. Seishirou

Love is a powerful emotion, but does that matter if you refuse to acknowledge emotions?

It doesn't matter how little Seishirou wants to admit it, love directs his actions. If not for love, why did he make the bet? If not for love, why did Seishirou lose his eye? If it's not love, why is Subaru still alive?

Seishirou was raised to be a killer, acting only through his own will. He is unused to being unable to explain his actions to himself.

He is unused to being out of control. It would upset him, anger him, if he let himself feel anger.

He's no longer certain he has a choice.

Seishirou denies loving Subaru, denies it with all his (emotionless) heart. Furthermore, he refuses any claim on the Sumeragi except ownership. That denial will cost him his life, because all Subaru has ever wanted is to matter.

Seishirou will never let Subaru realize he matters. Seishirou Wishes he could care. Seishirou Wishes he could stop caring. Seishirou just wants simplicity. He'll never get that wish.

But it is a beautiful thing, to be killed by the person you love the most. If, that is, you admit to loving someone.


	3. Hokuto

Love is the most powerful emotion. Love can move mountains; it can save lives, or change the world. Love can defeat destiny.

At least, that's what Hokuto has always believed.

It was love that made her move with Subaru to Tokyo, love that led her to believe she alone knew what was best for him.

Out of love, Hokuto protected her brother, watched over him at her own expense. She knew she could find love, but had to set up Subaru first.

Her belief in love made Hokuto push Subaru and Seishirou together, despite everything common sense told her. Love, she knew, would make things right.

It was love, eventually, that led her to challenge Seishirou, caused her to die in her little brother's place. It was her love for Subaru, and her belief that Seishirou and Subaru loved each other. She never considered that they could be in love and not end up happy. Tragic love was not real love, in her mind. Ironic, then, that she should die in a gesture of tragic love, for tragic lovers.

Hokuto's love kept Subaru sheltered for 16 years.

Hokuto's death freed him.

Love is power, but not all power is good.


	4. Fuuma

Love is a powerful emotion, but nothing holds power in the face of destiny.

Fuuma knows he is Kamui's "Twin Star." Furthermore, he knows what that entails, and he bows to his destiny; when you're destroying your own heart, the fate of humanity is meaningless. Fuuma doesn't exactly **want** to end the world, but destiny will prevail.

Fuuma's always know that destiny was going to run his life, ruin his life. His mother died, because it was preordained. His best friend left, because it was preordained. Kamui fought his destiny, but Fuuma has never tried. He never even realized he could, until after.

After Kamui chose a destiny, giving Fuuma the opposite. After Kamui became "the Kamui," and Fuuma was made "the dark Kamui." Fuuma, in that instant, wasn't fighting destiny. Why, if destiny could be fought, didn't he **know** that? Why hadn't Kamui shared this knowledge? Why had Kamui betrayed him like that? For Fuuma, destiny is a cage; and somehow, Kamui holds the key.

Fuuma hates Kamui, for not teaching him to fight destiny, and so destiny, once more, wins. Fuuma is Kamui's twin star.

Fumma is like a billion other people.

Fuuma wishes that destiny were different.


	5. Kotori

Love is power, and jealousy born of love is a very powerful motivator. Jealousy can drive people to kill, and in the right situation it can drive people to die.

Kotori knew that Kamui loved her, but he also loved her brother and she knew that, too. Worse, so did Fuuma.

Kotori never was good at dealing with jealousy. She wanted Kamui to be hers and hers alone, and that couldn't happen. Kotori was as pleased as she was upset when Kamui was sent away. If she couldn't have him alone, why should anyone?

Kotori never claimed to be selfless. If others chose to perceive her that way, well, that was their problem. She was kind, yes, and good hearted, but she was also strong-willed. Kotori had a habit of getting what she wanted.

Kotori wanted to own Kamui.

It's not hard for a dreamgazer, even an incomplete one, to know people's limits. Kotori could only see dreams of people close to her, but that was no problem. Kotori knew just what it would take to keep Fuuma and Kamui apart.

Kotori wished for Fuuma to kill her. It was the only way to keep him away from Kamui forever.


	6. Kamui

Love is a powerful emotion, and guilt about loving is more powerful yet.

Kamui loves Fuuma, still, despite all that Fuuma has done. Kamui still wants to save Fuuma, to protect him.

Still wants to be loved by him.

Kamui feels guilty about loving somebody who has killed so many people, feels guilt towards the people who are dead.

Kamui feels guilty, as well, for destroying Fuuma's life. It was his choice, his love, that made Fuuma a monster. Kamui almost wishes he'd never loved Fuuma.

Kamui loves Subaru, too, and feels guilty about dividing his love between two people. Fuuma, he loves with the weight of all of his life, years spent protecting and being protected. Fuuma, he has always loved. Subaru, he loves as a teacher, a mentor, and a kindred spirit. Kamui loves Subaru because Subaru so desperately needs to be loved.

Kamui loves Subaru because he needs to love somebody who won't be hurt by that love. He feels guilty about using Subaru as that person, but what does one sin matter after all that guilt? Besides, Subaru doesn't mind.

Kamui wishes he'd loved Subaru sooner, better, longer, because then Fuuma might still be with him.


End file.
